I haven't posted here in so long! I forget about it a lot.
Quick update: I work as a secretary at Meadow Gold Dairy in Kalispell, Montana. I haven't filled out my papers to graduate from school but I finished taking classes December '06. I bought a drumset and it's sitting in the garage. I bought a new car ('94 Dodge Intrepid) and have it almost paid off. I live in my parents' basement. I listen to country music now too, along with everything else I used to listen to. The new Bjork album is awesome. So is the new NIN album. I go to the Blue Moon far more often than I should but I love it and I have lots of friends there. I went through a thing with a rodeo clown named SW that is currently on the road doing rodeos. I have a huge crush on a guy named Josh even though he's flakey. I still chat online. I dyed my hair red again. I bought a bustier and wore it in public. Z-BRA POWERZ!!! I voted for Blake Lewis from American Idol and plan to buy his first album.
Also, I am home on my lunch break. I am very tired from staying up late at the bar last night and then getting up for work. We had fun playing pool. I had more fun flirting with Josh. <3
I don't know how the hell I can manage to do this... but I drank more than any sane person would and I didn't die. I blacked out for the first time ever, Thursday night (my birthday), at the bar. I don't remember about 2 hours at the end of the night. I didn't make a fool of myself and I didn't throw up. I can't believe I drank that much and didn't even have that bad of a hangover this morning. I started with some of Steve's R&R, and then it snowballed from there. People were buying me shots left and right... I had Wild Turkey, Crown, Yukon Jack, Hot Damn... Keep in mind, this is only what I remember drinking. The last thing I had before blacking out was a Chameleon or Garbage Can. This is basically a long island in a large glass with blue curacao and then a Red Bull turned upside down into the glass which turns it green. I don't know what all they gave me to drink after that, but Steve told me about the last break at 1 am. He bought me a shot of Jack Daniels and right before I got it... someone else had bought me a shot of lemonhard or something. I don't know how to spell it but it's 151 rum. He said it tastes bad but I downed it and barely made a face... followed then by the jack. Oh, I had a large jack and coke at the beginning of the night, too.
I am amazed at myself. Seriously. I should've been worse today. I should've thrown up. I walked up our back stairs on my own power... I found myself in bed this morning and had NO IDEA how I got there. I'm just lucky my friends watch out for me.
The worst thing, though, is that my back and neck are SO TENSE. It's absolutely ridiculous. I have huge knots and everything is sore. Car wrecks suck balls.
I was driving back from Bozeman after dropping off my brother and I crashed into some boulders on Homestake pass. I should've been going slower, but I didn't think it was icy quite yet... Boy was I mistaken. I lost control and spun at least 1 1/2 times, crashing the back end and driver's side into a ditch which happened to be populated with boulders. I am okay but my car is not. I spent almost 6 hours in the Butte hospital. I got hit in the head by something, probably glass from my window, so I have a scratch and a bump. I also hit my left shoulder/back into the metal where the belt comes out which was pushed in by the boulder. It hurts enough that I'm taking loratab and I'm going to have a giant ugly bruise when it finally decides to show itself. I also have whiplash and everything else is sore, but nothing is broken. I took a few pictures of my car with my cell phone at the wreckers when we went to get my stuff out of it today. I rescued everything valuable and some other odds and ends. I'm just lucky I didn't crash head first and that I was alone. I didn't hit anyone else, which was good. I did lose my car and all my freedom that is attached with that, but I must suffer the consequences of my actions.
I wanted to put down flowers for Nick since it's the anniversary of his death, but I didn't get a chance because of the circumstances. I still think about him all the time.
Tomorrow is my birthday. Hopefully I can still make it to the bar for some sort of a birthday celebration.
I'm driving 5 hours (or more) to Bozeman tomorrow to drop my brother off at his apartment. His friend is giving me King's Field 1 for Playstation and I am way excited. I also get to play on his Wii while I'm there. I drive back Tuesday and I'm stopping in Missoula to get stuff from the percussion room and then Hot Springs to visit Heidi, assuming she isn't in class...
I have been having lots of bar fun as usual.
My birthday is on Thursday! I'm turning 24, big whoop, huh? Oh well. Hopefully I conned enough people into showing up at the bar.
He broke up with me because I called him on Sunday night when I was drunk. I woke him up at 10:30 his time and he couldn't get back to sleep. I guess he passed out later and ended up missing work. They had a policy that if anyone missed work without calling in during December, they would be fired immediately. So, I guess I got him fired. I'm pretty sure he blames it all on me.
You scored 0% I to E, 42% N to S, 66% F to T, and 47% J to P!
You are more introverted than extroverted. You are more intuitive than observant, you are more thinking based than feeling based, and you prefer to have a plan rather than leaving things to chance. Your type is best described by the word "mastermind", which belongs to the larger group called rationals. Only 1% of the population shares your type. You are very strong willed and self-confident. You can hardly rest until you have things settled. You will only adopt ideas and rules if they make sense. You are a great brainstormer and often come up with creative solutions to difficult problems. You are open to new concepts, and often actively seek them out.
As a romantic partner, you can be both fascinating yet demanding. You are not apt to express your emotions, leaving your partner wondering where they are with you. You strongly dislike repeating yourself or listening to the disorganized process of sorting through emotional conflicts. You see your own commitments as self-evident and don't see why you need to repeat something already expressed. You have the most difficulty in admitting your vulnerabilities. You feel the most appreciated when your partner admires the quality of your innovations and when they listen respectfully to your ideas and advice. You need plenty of quiet to explore your interests to the depth that gives you satisfaction.
001: Real Name – Sarah Riebe 002. Nicknames – Seba, Seb (only my parents call me those), Riebe 003. Single or taken - taken 004. Zodiac Sign - Capricorn 005. Male or Female -female 006. Elementary School – Russell Elementary 007. Favorite Color - Brown, Purple 008. High School – Flathead 009. Screen name - Sarah, Ischiagra, sarahofthedead, smarmyzombie 010. Hair Color - Brownishreddish (whatever color I dye it) 011. hair length long or short - longish 014. Eye Color – Dark grayblue something 015. Are you health freak- nope 016. Height -5'9 017. Do you have a crush on someone –yes 018. Do you like yourself –yes 020. Think you're awesome –maybe 021. Piercings –ears 022. Tattoos - soon! Kristin and I are going to get some together 023. Righty or Lefty -righty
024. Surgery - Knee 025. First piercing –ears, when I was 9 026. First best friend - Something with a C... Celeste? 027. First Award - uh, I don't remember these things 028. First Sport You Joined –soccer!! 029. First pet – dog 030. First vacation –Spokane, Washington 031. First Concert –I have no idea 032. First love –uhhh...
049. Eating - nothing 050. I'm drinking - nothing 052. I'm about to -perform in the orchestra concert... then shoot myself in the face 053. Listening to -Dungen on myspace 055. Waiting For -call for the orchestra concert 057. Wearing - concert black and a brown scarf
058. Want Kids? - yes 059. Want to Get Married?- yes 060. Careers in Mind - film composer, college professor
__Which is better with the opposite sex?__
068. Lips or Eyes?- eyes 069. Hugs or Kisses -kisses 070. Shorter or Taller -taller 072. Romantic, Spontaneous -romantically spontaneous (<--Good answer, heidi!) 073. Nice Stomach or Nice Arms – Arms 074. Sensitive or Loud - Sensitive, but loud when the situation calls for it :P 075. Hook-up or Relationship - relationship 077. Trouble Maker or Hesitant? - yes
___Have you ever___
078. Kissed a Stranger –yes 079. Drank bubbles –yes 080. Lost glasses/contacts-no, never worn any... unless you count sunglasses. i lose everything 081. Ran Away From home - no 082. Broken any bones - yes 084. Broken Someones Heart - maybe 086. Turned Someone Down -yes 088. Cried at school – yes
___Do You Believe In___
089. Yourself – yes 090. Miracles- no 091. Love at first sight – no 094. Magic –no 095. Heaven -no 096. Santa Clause -no 097. Sex on the first date- no 098. Kissing on the First Date -if its right 099. Angels-no
100. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Jarret
The University of Montana Grizzlies host the University of Massachusetts Minutemen on Friday, December 8th at 5:30 p.m. Mountain Standard Time on ESPN2. Tune in even if you don't like football because they mic the band and you can hear the drumline really well, apparently. I play snare so listen!!
The Maid of Honor Deliberate Gentle Love Master (DGLMf)
Appreciated for your kindness and envied for all your experience, you are The Maid of Honor.
Charismatic, affectionate, and terrific in relationships, you are what many guys would call a "perfect catch"--and you probably have many admirers, each wishing to capture your long-term love. You're careful, extra careful, because the last thing you want is to hurt anyone. Especially some poor boy whose only crime was liking you.
Your exact opposite: Half-cocked
Random Brutal Sex Dreamer
We've deduced you're fully capable of a dirty fling, but you do feel that post-coital attachment after hooking up. So, conscientious person that you are, you do your best to reserve physical affection for those you respect...so you can respect yourself.
Your biggest negative is the byproduct of your careful nature: indecision. You're just as slow rejecting someone as you are accepting them.
ALWAYS AVOID: The False Messiah, The 5-Night Stand, The Vapor Trail, The Bachelor
The rest of this week, next week, and then it's finals week. Guess what? I have no finals. So, I'm done in a week and 2 days. I can not wait. I am so sick of school, I can barely stand it. I have to drag myself to class. I'm currently missing part of a concert right now. Most of them didn't bother to come to my recital, so I really don't care. I never was part of the loop. I just want to leave.
It's time to move on. I'm looking at grad schools, trying to figure out where I want to spend the next 2 years of my life. Do I want to be far away or closeish to my boyfriend? I really do love him and want to be with him, but how long would I be able to survive away from him? Thoughts to be had, for sure. Hopefully I get to spend some time with him soon so I know that this is what I truly want.
My professor wants me to go to college in New York. I always wanted to go to Long Beach. UT-Austin looks like an option as well. I was looking at UNLV because that's where my boyfriend lives. Hmm, decisions, decisions. I guess I go where ever someone will give me an assistantship. :P
I am going to miss percussion ensemble. It was my last big concert last night. It went well, though. I almost cried. :/
Thankfully I was jumping to conclusions. This will happen after similar incidents happening in past relationships, but I need to relax and not worry so much. He is mine and I'm not letting him go. If this happens again, I will definitely have a talk with him, since he should know it does worry me and not want me to worry. I also need to make sure that I'm not freaking out unnecessarily.
I'm really not quite sure what to think. I was very excited and happy. I thought this was going to work out right this time. I thought this was different. Am I jumping to conclusions or am I right to worry? I was fine until Sunday when I called him and he ... wasn't the same. It was a short conversation and he didn't say much. And then he didn't call me. And then he didn't call me again. I tried calling him and, for the first time, he didn't answer. Should I be worried? Should I let it slide and wait until I can find him? He was online then disappeared. He didn't answer, he didn't call back. What does that mean? Anything? How long am I supposed to wait before I start to wonder?
Was my mom right when she said things that appear too good to be true usually are?
How forgiving should I be? Should I let it all slide? I knew something was wrong with Marc when similar things started to happen. How does it go from great to bad in so short a time? Am I being hasty in assuming something is wrong? Should I confront him? I'm about ready to just give up.
My recital is Sunday, I am excited, nervous, scared, everything all rolled up into one. I put up all the posters and the program is done. I baked cheesecakes and my mom is going to work on the reception for me. Kristin and Is are coming, so is Heidi (hopefully the snow stops!). Cat/Griz is this weekend and we are going to STOMP THE CATS!!! Next week is Thanksgiving and I'm going home for a few days, but I have to return that Saturday for a playoff football game. Then the Tuesday after that is my last official percussion ensemble concert (I am playing in the World Percussion Concert in February even though I won't be enrolled). I finally get to go to a pep band game on Thursday, I think.
I am in love. I told myself I wasn't going to do this, especially with someone I met over the internet again. But he is perfect. I can not and will not let this one get away. I never believed in love at first sight or soul mates. I guess this is as close as it gets. I never believed in fate, but it sure feels like fate had it's hand in this. I feel like I am in a dream. If this is a dream, I don't want to wake up. He is everything I have ever wanted in a man and then some. I hope this lasts forever.
I hate when people turn out to be different than I thought they were. I often wonder if they presented themselves as whatever I had imagined or if I projected it on them. It might be a little of both. Either way, I am quite disappointed. There was an incident at the bar this evening that drastically changed my perspective on someone and it's really too bad. I have a feeling I will be seeing that place less and less. I still love my friends there, but I think things like this will drive a lot of them away.